xox, 2014.

One of my favorite pics from a year full of lovely little moments captured on camera.

Lavender Love

With the holidays winding down, I'm mostly basking in precious downtime with the family and reflecting on the year behind us. Dean is finishing up with school, and we're finally getting to work on the music we've been dreaming about making together for years.

It's raw and rusty, but it's happening, and that is huge. (Don't make that pervy, pervs. :P)

What have I learned this year? Too many observations and realizations to remember in one sitting, but these occur to me now:

- In relationships, it's important to distinguish between expectations and standards. It's generally useless, unproductive, and disappointing to have expectations, but having expectations is not to be confused with having standards. And we need to maintain some standards in those relationships we want to forward. We don't need to believe our standards superior when someone doesn't meet them, but we have to recognize when they are hopelessly incompatible with that other person's and be ok moving forward on our own with that recognition. It wouldn't hurt me to be swifter about it, but I'll probably always err on the side of patience, for good and for bad.

- Some things will never change, but a lot of things can.

- "Natural" peanut butter will probably always suck in my book no matter how I try to like it, and I should probably stop wasting my money trying. All my love for whole ingredients and slow food notwithstanding, give me unnatural peanut butter with chemicals and additives and stabilizers and enough salt and sugar to make it yummy to me. If I die from eating it, at least I'll have enjoyed it.

- A little bit of the things that truly matter to your heart of hearts, your soul of souls, is infinitely more filling and fulfilling than an infinitesimal quantity of the things that don't.

- There is a price for all good things that is usually some form of not-so-goodness in other things, and if we step back to see the balance of the bigger picture, life tends to seem fairer than if we don't.

- Some things I do will never make any fucking sense. Like drinking Diet Coke.

- Life is an odyssey away from and back to ourselves, and we will encounter the most wondrous and fearful things if we should decide to undertake it, but the journey and the homecoming both are the sweetest reward. I'm looking forward to more life as I was meant to live it. At theoretical half time, it's all coming back to me now.

This is a good place to begin the first day of the rest of my life.




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